The Inevitable Conflict

I find myself listening to my Zune/Pandora more and more. It keeps my mind from wandering, and if there’s one thing I’m terrified of (spiders aside…) it’s being left completely alone with no distractions. Now that England is very, very real and not a year or six months away, it’s really starting to hit me that omigod, I’m leaving for a year...and I'm leaving my boyfriend.

This sucks.

But! I’ve wanted this for so long now. This has been my motivation for the past year to get up and do something with my life and my degree and I will loathe myself if I back out now. There will not be another Korea incident! This is happening, people! No more what-ifs, no more I-don’t-know-if-I-can-afford-it, no more I-can-do-this-later, no more I’ll-work-out-another-day. I’m excited for so many things! I’ll get to see people I haven’t seen in years, join the Milton Keynes Rowing Club, figure out if Europe is worth a damn (everyone should know now that Asia’s my jam, but I’ll give Europe another chance :P), see Magnetic Man LIVE (if you don’t know, FIX THAT. Crank that bass: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2vWQFHP3D0), and goodness knows what else.

I know I am fully capable and equipped to do my very best and get that job I’m dreaming of and start that life I expected straight out of college. I know I have a wonderful support system of friends and family backing me up in any way I need—hopefully not financially (I bet Mom and Dad went pale and weak-kneed at that)—and my wonderful boyfriend who I know would give anything to have me stay but insists I leave to pursue my dreams. He’s a keeper, y’all.

I know I can make it work. I know I will be okay. I have every reason in the world to succeed...in no small part because I've put my relationship on the line. I must make the absolute most of this.

Mantra: When in doubt, turn on the playlist!

Motivation Playlist (in progress)

 “We Won’t Stop (Redial Remix)”—Barretso

“Accelerate”—R.E.M.

“Keep the Fire (BAR9 Remix)”—Goldhawks

“Jona Vark”—Gypsy and the Cat

“Sunlight (Armand Van Helden Remix)”—Bag Raiders

“I Need Air”—Magnetic Man

“Lights (Bassnectar Remix)”—Ellie Goulding

“Promise”—Eve6

“Surreal”—John O’Callaghan